Dating Jitters? Top 10 Tips on How to Impress on a First Date
by Emily Heart
Some find the initial hurdle of a first date a real obstacle to finding love. Whether it’s down to nerves or just being out of practice with your dating skills, we’ve drawn up some pointers to help you prepare for first date success.
Dating Tip 1) Compliment your date on, well, anything!
A little compliment can go a long way. It might seem a bit forced, but the human ego will ensure that your date is tickled by a little compliment about their appearance (a great way to break the ice at the start of the date) or their character (once you know a little bit more about them).
Dating Tip 2) Ask questions and listen to the answer
Unless they are incredibly shy or a holder of state secrets, your date will love to talk about themselves to someone who’s interested – almost everyone does. If you take the time to ask questions about them and respond animatedly to their answers, you will be rewarded with a very happy date.
Dating Tip 3) A little touch on the arm
If things are going well, a little touch on the arm can work wonders to make your date feel at ease. Studies have shown that when two people meet, the slightest touch can have a really positive effect on how they view one another, even if they are not consciously aware that it happened. Remember, on a first date, subtlety is key.
Dating Tip 4) Smile (but don’t do a Gordon!)
Research has shown that a simple smile can make an enormous difference to whether or not one person will find another attractive. There’s no need to do a Gordon Brown and suddenly break out in a huge, random grin mid-sentence, just try to keep a small, agreeable smile on your face as you interact. This way, your date will find you more attractive and easy to talk to.
Dating Tip 5) Maintain eye contact – just the right amount
Eye contact is crucial on a first date. While too much can be a bit much, none at all will make it seem as though you’re either not interested or very, very nervous. Try to make sure you meet your date’s gaze from time to time, and don’t look over their shoulder while they talk, or they could feel a little rejected.
Dating Tip 6) Take care of your grooming and scrub those fingernails!
Being clean and well turned-out shows your date you are willing to make an effort for them, and that is a compliment in itself. Spotlessly clean hair and nails are a clear sign of good grooming and personal hygiene.
Dating Tip 7) A bit of laughter can go a long way
While style and charm have their place, one thing consistently mentioned by people looking for love is being able to share a laugh with their prospective mate. Not everything has to be a joke, but a few laughs will really break the ice on a first date.
Dating Tip 8) Mirroring – copying your date’s body language
Don’t get too carried away with body language tricks – it can come across a little wooden if it doesn’t come naturally. However, if you look at people who are in love, or just anyone who’s very comfortable with one another, they tend to mirror each other’s body language automatically. Following your date’s lead from time to time can make them feel at ease.
Dating Tip 9) Relax and enjoy your date
Anyone who suffers from nerves knows that it’s not necessarily so easy to relax on cue. Unfortunately, extreme nerves can give other people the impression that you have something to hide. One way to relax on a first date is to be prepared. Think of a few simple questions you could ask to get the conversation flowing, and suddenly everything will seem a lot less scary.
Dating Tip 10) Demonstrate your generosity in little ways
Be generous and considerate with your date – this will give them an idea of how well they would be treated if the two of you were in a relationship. You don’t need to make any grand gestures; small acts of kindness are enough to do the trick.
About the Author:
Match.com is the UK’s biggest online dating site. With thousands of new members joining everyday you won’t have a better chance of finding love online anywhere else.
Stories Coming in the Future:
Lady Starr, Dox, Wanton Desire
-- September's Direct Answers
from Wayne and Tamara
Direct Answers appears in newspapers on six continents.
From Mara:
"I was in a destructive relationship for three years with a charismatic man. We had two boys. Drugs, infidelity, and verbal abuse were involved. It took me a year of planning to leave, and when I did I moved from Latin America to be as far away from him as possible.
Of course, he followed. Things got complicated when he got a young girl pregnant and I forgave him. We tried to make it work again, and I got pregnant with my third child. He left me to be with her. It is three years since I separated from him, and I have tried everything to move on.
While pregnant I couldn't sleep and cried every day. It was like part of me was dead. I had my baby and this was an incredible source of joy. Little by little things changed and I am so much better. I am happy most of the time and live in peace.
I'm raising my three boys in a small, quiet town. I enjoy their company and their love; they are so wonderful. I've read many self-help books, learned to set boundaries, and know I can make it alone. I guess I'm growing up now that I'm about to turn 40.
The problem is I keep slipping in and out of obsessive thoughts that I might get back with my ex, or perhaps he'll realize what a jerk he was and change. He called recently to tell me he broke up with this girl. He told me so many details I feel I went back a few steps just by listening!
Of course, they are back together again, but he wants to buy some land with me and build a house. I don't want this anymore. I'm willing to do anything to be free of this relationship, but we have three boys and my oldest one calls him every day. It’s almost impossible to dislodge myself from this bond."
Wayne & Tamara's Answer:
"Mara, boy-crazy teenage girls willingly give up their self-respect for a charismatic teenage boy. But when they outgrow that phase, they cut off any male who disrespects them. You haven’t grown up yet. Until you stop chasing the cute boy who used you, this cycle will continue.
There are three things you can do. First, ruthlessly curtail your interactions with him. Limit conversations to matters essential to your sons. Second, when you find yourself obsessing about him, label it for what it is. It is not you, an adult woman, talking; it is a boy-crazy teenage girl. Third, redirect your energy into other areas.
Lovey-dovey talk is cheap, empty promises are worthless, and actions reveal character. In a relationship with a male, there is only one standard for woman: his every action proves he loves me. An immature girl may nourish a fantasy about a man who abuses her, but an adult woman sees him for who he is--someone who will use her as long as she lets him."
